Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
