remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
