Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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