I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
