if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
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