I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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