i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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