after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
