Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
is this the sara with the beer cane?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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