You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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