yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
