I'm going to jail i love you
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
