remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I cockslap morals
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Randomize
