i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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