Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
