I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
