I'm jealous of your bromance
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
