but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
