he shaved USA in his pubs
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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