This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
