his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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