is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
