There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
