I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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