I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
