I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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