first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
