No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
These tits shall not be calmed
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
