This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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