Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
