he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
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