That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
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My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
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I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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