party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
