please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
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