I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
