If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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