life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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