I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize