Midget sex pt 2 tonight
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
