I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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