oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
