Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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