She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
