I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
