I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
