When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize