If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize