Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
