Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
