I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Blow job season was short but glorious.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
i think i just lost a toe
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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