oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
