I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
