He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
