yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
