Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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