My first STD was from a foam party
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
why do cheetos always look like penises
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
