were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
She's the barista slut.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
