We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
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