i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
