Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
High School Students Hilariously Rank Celebrities By Their Stank For Class Project
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
15 Things You Truly Understand If You Sleep Next To Someone Who Snores Like A Rhinoceros Every Night
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
