Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
time to smoke my breakfast
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
