my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world